Friday, October 10, 2008


O kadar iyi biliyorum ki bunun nasıl bir acı olduğunu, nasıl içini dağladığını insanın, neleri alıp götüreceğini... Daha ilk anda başlayan büyük sarsıtıyı ve en kötüsü, daha nelerin olacağını, hiç bitmeyeceğini ve kalan ömrünü böyle içinde büyük, kocaman bir acıyla yaşayacağını. Bütün hayatının baştan sona değişeceğini, bir daha asla hiçbir şeyin eskisi gibi olmayacağını ve kalan hayatını hep eksik yaşayacağını. Biliyorum.

Bütün bunların arasında, yüreğim en çok senin için acırken bir yandan da içimdeki büyük bencilliği keşfedip dehşete düşüyorum ve çok utanıyorum kendimden.


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